Abuse: What Parents Need to Know
Preventing child sexual abuse can
only be accomplished by knowing the facts about pedophiles and
the effects of child abuse. In my experience as a therapist,
I’ve met countless parents and professionals who were amazed by
their inability to recognize abusive people, abusive situations and
sexually abused children.
I tell them this truth: Pedophiles are clever, confused
individuals, most of whom, on the outside seem to love children.
As part of their pathology, pedophiles are manipulative and
confuse and outwit us. They catch both children and adults in
their fabricated web - the adults who, ironically, have trusted
them. They may
spend months even years grooming both parents and children,
trust building and becoming members of the family or they may be
members of the family. When parents ask themselves why,
the answers most
frequently heard are – They are lonely, playful, childlike –
just a big kid – just want to help or have formed a bond with my
Pedophiles tend to find jobs or
volunteer where they have access to children.
It is not uncommon for a
pedophile to target single mothers to date or befriend
families in chaos – who’s attention is focused on divorce, a
death of a family member or some other family event.
Then there are also wonderful,
dedicated and trained individuals who devote their lives to
working with children.
How do we know the difference
between Pedophiles and dedicated people?
Notice the quality of the
interactions – is there intensity, isolating behaviors, maybe
your child has an unusually heightened need to be with this
person, avoids them or resists going – look also for your
child’s emotional responses.
Some Ways to Identify Pedophiles
Intense interest in Children or obviously ignores them.
People who make children their “projects” – offers extra
help, guidance, special attention.
Has few friends of their own age and may consider the child
as a friend.
Never married, single, lives with parents or moves often.
Participates in activities that involve children and
May seem young and child-like.
Gives gifts to children or parents.
Sudden invitations to bring the child to places children
Asks for the help of a child – “watch my dog, bring my
newspaper – etc.”
Takes excessive photos of children.
Emails or calls your child.
Your child talks of an adult friend or someone who IM’s
Wants to visit your child in the yard, at the playground, in
their room – anywhere away from you.
What to do:
Dare to make a mistake.
One embarrassed adult is a small
price to pay for saving a child.
Check the State and National
Child Abuse Registry –
Keep in mind, look at how many are registered in your community
– Remember that is about 1/8 of the actual pedophiles – Most
have not been caught yet.
Report your concerns to the
police and to child protective services –
Remember – they may or may not be
able to help. Even if they try – most of the time they fail.
They are not responsible for protecting your child –
The agencies dedicated to
are limited by laws, afraid to make mistakes, are understaffed,
under - funded and under educated.
if authorities tell you “don’t worry”
– Trust Your Self!
This article was written by Connie Robillard, a victim of child
sexual abuse. As a child sexual abuse survivor, Connie has
written this article for the purpose of
preventing child sexual abuse and demonstrating some of the
signs and symptoms of an abused child or identifying a
pedophile. If you suspect a child is being abused sexually,
physically, or emotionally call 911 immediately. Reporting child
abuse is not only important, it's also the law!
Documentary and Book
about Child Abuse