What is Self Love? It is the central theme of
every self help book I have ever read.
As many people think about Self Care, Self Kindness,
Self Help, Self Love...
Questions emerge blocking our understanding of what
needs to be done to even begin to build a life of
self care – leading to the Self Led Life.
Many people have personality parts that over time
have become cruel, self depreciating and critical.
These self sabotaging parts may be convinced that
they are right in their attempts to keep us under
their control. They may be like young children that
were trained a long time ago by the family of origin
to be self terrorists or perhaps life has taught
them the world is an unsafe place. Fearfulness – led
them to become ridged, inflexible, self defeating.
All parts of our personality are attempting to help
us, they have good intentions. – Some extreme ones –
need our own inner wisdom to guide them.
Just as a self test listen to what parts of you say
when you make a mistake….If you have encouraging
parts – then thank them.
If some say mean things – then think about this:
If we treated our dog the way we treat ourselves
someone would call the SPCA.
If we were our own employers – reprimanding
ourselves harshly someone would report us to OSHA.
If we tortured a child with scary stories about
what might happen – the neighbors would call the
authorities.
Maybe some of your inner feelings have become
extreme and need you.
The simple truth about self care is that, in many
ways, it is similar to child care:
Provide healthy foods
Allow for rest, play, exercise and safety.
Choose safe people to be with.
If others are mean, lie, yell, intimidate, threaten,
break open the piggy back and spend all the money–
you would want to get your child out of emotional
danger as quickly as possible – Right?
If this was happening to a child you might be saying
something like, “Get away from my child!” Maybe you
would even call the police, report it as crime.
Many people believe that along with growing up they
have earned the right to abuse themselves and let
others do the same. Because, after all, we are
adults and we can
take it…
If we live with abuse long enough we pay a price…
Depression strikes, anxiety increases, our health
declines – & we blame our age, our genes, bad luck,
the, environment & we would be partly right –the
internal parts of us & the people & external
environment that we choose impact our bodies, minds,
spirits –
As we become Self Led then we learn to take care of
our child parts, stick up for them and become in
charge of our lives. We surround ourselves with
loving, supportive people who share our
accomplishments, support our dreams, treat us with
respect.
From our Self Led place – we are able to love other
– developing lasting and harmonious relationships.
The Self Led life is a life of Self care and
love…..Be Well
